I don’t offer trust easily. It is both a good thing and not so good. I’m sure my counselor would tell me it was a coping strategy I formed long ago. But it takes me a long time to give myself permission to trust.
There is something in my heart that questions people’s motives almost every time and every day. Our culture fuels this suspicion. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is running from Jezebel. He tells God that people want to destroy him. You know, it’s not paranoia if they actually want you dead.
Yet, our culture is bent towards safety. We want safety and security over everything else. I want safety and security over everything else. But it’s not realistic. We need to take risks. We need to try new things. Every invention, advancement, and progress has happened because someone decided to try something different.
Today, in my journal, I told God how it feels like the earth has shifted under me and I don’t know where to place my feet. I don’t trust anyone right now. Not even myself.
Then he reminded me of this…
I can trust him.
I’m not trusting him to fix it all. But I am trusting him to walk with me through this unstable season. I’ve lived through lots of instability. And I can trust him one more time.